Black Demon
by Keeperofthemoon0
Summary: "Please," he whispered in her ear, mocking her. "Please." And she couldn't help but wonder if this was the first time he'd ever said please before, even if he was just making fun of her. Sirius/Ginny
1. The Beginning

-*.*.*-

Title: Black Demon

Summary: "Please," he whispered in her ear, mocking her. "Please." And she couldn't help but wonder if this was the first time he's ever said please before, even if he was just making fun of her. Sirius/Ginny

Disclaimer: I only own the plot.

Author's Note: I found this gem in my forgotten files and decided to make something out of it. A short multi-chapter Sirius/Ginny fic for Christmas. Enjoy!

-*.*.*-

There was ink of her hands. She stared at it, unsure of how it got there, so sure that it wasn't there a moment ago. Its' smell was as distinct as the smell of blood and it burned her nostrils, making her to want to gag. And just as blood would the ink fell from her hands, splashing down to the chamber floor in a steady drip. Her hands began to shake as the swell of panic rose in Ginny's chest. Frantically she wiped her hands on her damp robes and looked around.

It was happening again.

Shadows played across the large chamber and it made it hard for Ginny to see. But she could hear the slithering of a large body, a snake, somewhere near her. Her shoulders hunched in an attempt to protect herself as her eyes narrowed, trying to find him. Tom, Tom, _Tom…_

Then she heard it, as if he knew her fear was ready to overwhelm her, that her heart was about to stop, that she was about to get sick from the ink on her hands. Ginny froze, her body aching, as his mocking sigh echoed throughout the chamber. Her head turned slightly to the left and there he was, leaning against one of the cement walls, a statue of a snake right above his form. The shadows covered his face and she was almost thankful that she didn't have to look into his eyes (as deadly as a Basilisk). But Ginny still knew he was watching her, watching her in amusement as she tried to get away from him.

Where could she go, where could she hide, how could she get away from him? Would she ever escape him?

"I'm quite sorry to disappoint you, Ginny dear, but there is no escaping me."

Her fists clenched and unclenched as she stumbled towards a wall on the opposite side of the chamber, cold water splashing up on her feet when she fell into a puddle. Beads of perspiration were breaking out across her forehead and neck, dripping down, leaving goose bumps in its trail. Ginny was positive she had never felt fear like this before, never had her mind and body and heart react in such different ways.

"Why you continue to run from me I don't understand."

His words caused Ginny to turn her head to look at him. Tom still leaned against the wall, his body still, but she could make out his black hair and one of his hands, lazily twirling a wand.

"You are mine."

_Run. Just run and get away from him._

"As pathetic as you are… Ginny, get over here."

She shook her head in horror.

"You dare? I am what made you the person you are, I am the very blood that streams through your veins, I have embedded myself in your _soul_ and I will never leave. You do not say no to me, I am your master just as you are my slave-"

"Stop," she pleaded, still crouched on the floor.

The water now dampened the end of her nightgown and she was sure it was freezing her, freezing her body so she could not move, could not look away. Tom was silent for a moment, considering her, before he stepped out of the shadows.

"I said get over here," he paused, his bright eyes studying her. "I've missed you."

He was still as beautiful as Ginny feared. A beautiful nightmare, a devil disguised as an angel, a lion in sheep's clothing… How could anyone fear something so perfect? And yet Ginny flinched away as he stepped closer.

"Get over here!" His words rang throughout the chamber and suddenly he was close, close enough that Ginny could smell him, and she screamed.

His hand grabbed her wrist and yanked her to her feet, the wet floor making her slip. Ginny couldn't stop him from pulling her close (she could never get away) and she was sure her voice would fail her soon, it would because she had never screamed so loud or sobbed as much as she was then, when suddenly he spoke again.

"Your demons do not define you."

But it was not Tom's voice that spoke the words. The words did not scare her and the voice, while hoarse, was familiar. Ginny pushed away, the scream dying in her throat, and opened her eyes.

The room was dark, the only light coming from the fire that was almost out in the hearth. Her eyes took a second to focus but, when they did, she found herself staring at Sirius Black.

"It's just me," he whispered to her, not touching her but close enough on the bed to offer comfort. "You're okay."

Ginny took a deep breath, her heart racing, and looked around the room again. She was at Grimmauld Place, in the bedroom that she could hardly consider her own but, nonetheless, where she slept. Lifting her hand she cried out. Though ink free, she saw dark liquid running from her fingers and pooling in her palm.

"I'm bleeding," she said, her words soft. "What- what did I do?"

Sirius reached over, grabbing her hand. He eyed it before using the edge of his white shirt to dab away the blood. She watched, dazed, as the cleaning revealed a cut on her palm.

"You're fine," he consoled her. "Nipped me a bit too."

And it was true. Three long scratches ran down his cheek. Ginny felt her face flush and willed her need to get ill to go away.

"Don't worry yourself," he continued, releasing her hand. "I can heal my cheek easy."

Ginny nodded and cradled her hand against her chest. She was tired, so tired, and wanted to close her eyes to rest. But she knew what would happen once she did. Just the memory of the dream sent chills up her spine.

"Sirius," his name sounded like a prayer compared to the name that was ringing in her head.

_Tom, Tom, Tom._

"Sirius, what are you doing here?"

But as the sweat dripped down her forehead, rolling down and drenching her nightgown, Ginny knew he must have heard her screams. A simple silencing spell would have guaranteed that never to happen but Ginny must have forgotten, too excited for the arrival of Hermione the next morning.

"Would you like some water? Or something to eat?" He ignored her question and Ginny's eyebrows perked in surprise.

"I'm fine."

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Sirius pointed out.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," Ginny muttered, using her hand to brush the damp curls off her face.

It was a game of dodging questions. Neither really cared.

Sirius shrugged, leaning back on the bed.

"I know what it's like to fear sleeping," he informed her, mimicking her and pushing his long hair out of his face.

Ginny stared at him. As the dream faded away to reality she began to feel much more like herself and less like the cowering child in the chamber. And Ginny realized how stupid she must seem to him. After all he was a grown man and she was nothing but a silly girl experiencing a nightmare. Sirius had lived through so much more, had had so many worse things effect him, and for Ginny to be the one crying out in fear of the darkness…

"Tom…"

Ginny stilled. Even Sirius saying it, the way the dreaded name curled off his lips, caused a stab of fear to pierce her.

"You were saying his…" Sirius stopped, as if thinking better of it. "Sometimes it's hard to remember that our nightmares are just that. They are not real-"

"He is very much real. He is what is forcing you into hiding right now," Ginny snapped.

As soon as she said it, though, Ginny regretted it. Sirius' eyes sharpened and he moved further from her, both physically and mentally. The hand of comfort he had extended to her, the words he used to pull her away from Tom's grasp, he was taking it all with him as he stood from her bed. He almost became a part of the shadows then, became a part of the dark just as Tom was in the chamber. His gaunt face, so much like a skeleton, glanced at her before he shrugged again. Sirius went to speak but Ginny jumped forward, the heavy comforter she had brought from the Burrow sliding off her body, and stopped him.

"Do you really believe what you said?"

Her voice was breathless and Sirius stilled, his eyes taking her in. The wood in the hearth cracked as the last of the fire began to disappear.

"That our demons do not define us?"

He continued to stay silent and Ginny felt that fear again, this time for a different reason. Sirius was someone she hardly knew, even after he extended his childhood home to the Order of the Phoenix. She had not been here long and throughout her childhood she had heard the horror stories of him. Fred and George use to tease both Ron and her about how Sirius Black would escape from Azkaban just for them, to skin them alive as punishment for telling their mum about their latest prank. It took a while for Ginny to even get use to his presence, that his face was that of a friend and not a foe.

And it didn't take much to convince Ginny he was someone she could like. He laughed at the twins in the same way she did and worried over Harry more than her own mum. Remus Lupin, her old professor, seemed protective over the man and Dumbledore was often seen speaking gently to him. The random members of the Order Ginny had seen so far also made a point to go speak to Sirius, often receiving a smile from him that would brighten his face.

But just as Sirius needed to earn Ginny's trust she needed to earn his. And she felt she had just lost any she had previously gained.

"I-"

She paused, licking her lips. The sweat that had drenched her was now making her feel sticky and Ginny could only imagine how she appeared to him. So silly, so stupid… how could she let her temper run free like that? Especially since Lord Voldemort was not Tom Riddle, not to Ginny. Tom was a sweet poison; something you didn't realize was killing you until the last drop of it hit your tongue but yet it was almost enjoyable. He was a drug, a guilty pleasure. He was everything you could want him to be as he drove a knife into you. From what Ginny knew of Voldemort he was not Tom; he was a Frankenstein, damaged and ugly but unlike Frankenstein Voldemort was not kind at heart. He was simply ugly through and through.

"I'm afraid I'll never get away from him."

The fire completely died and Ginny froze, her breath getting caught in her throat. She could feel the bed sink on one side as Sirius sat back down.

"Sometimes I like my demons. It helps me remember…" he trailed off, lost in his thoughts.

Ginny could barely make out his form. She tried to squint her eyes to see him better.

"I want you to know you're not alone. I'm… I'm here for you, Ginny. I understand."

He stood from the bed and moved quietly through her dark bedroom. Her eyes were better adjusted to the darkness now and she followed his form. Sirius paused by her bedroom door and she liked to think he looked back to her before he finally pulled open the door. Some light streamed in from the lanterns in the corridor, blinding her momentarily. Then he shut the door and she was swallowed by darkness again.

-*.*.*-

_Eight Years Later_

When Ginny had received the letter she had been sitting at the Burrow, feet propped up on the arm of the couch as she looked through a novel Hermione had given her without really seeing it. It was June and warm, especially in the Burrow where her Mum insisted on keeping the fire burning since her Dad was sick with the flu. It would have been the perfect day to be playing Quidditch, Ginny mused, if she had opted to try out for the Holyhead Harpies again.

Her thoughts that were beginning to border on self-pity disappeared at the sight of the owl at the window. It stared at her with wide eyes before she finally put the book down, leaving it open on an unknown page. With a single hop towards her, the owl lifted its leg. And on it was the letter that would change everything.

She bounded to St. Mungo's, saying goodbye to her parents beforehand with a kiss on the cheek to not arise suspicions. Ginny wasn't sure what to make of the letter. It was from Kingsley, Minister of Magic, asking for her to meet him at St. Mungo's as soon as she was free. She wasn't to tell anyone of their meeting. Kingsley was a family friend, especially after how close the Weasleys' worked with him in the Order of the Phoenix and after the Final Battle. And while Ginny considered herself friendly with the older wizard she never expected to receive any sort of mail from him.

And for it to be a secret meeting at St. Mungo's?

Her heart twisted as she walked down the white hospital corridor on the fifth floor. Kingsley requested her presence in the tearoom, an odd spot to want to meet. She had absolutely no idea what could be going on.

As soon as she approached the tearoom she could see Kingsley's large form sitting at a table alone. Actually, Ginny realized as she looked around, the whole tearoom was empty. He looked up at her arrival and a large smile spread across his face.

"You've arrived quickly," Kingsley said, rising to greet her.

Ginny grinned and hugged the man before they both sat down.

"It seemed important, your letter," Ginny watched Kingsley pour her a cup of tea. "Is everything okay? Is it Harry?"

Kingsley shook his head at that, his gold earring glinting in the artificial light of the room.

"Harry is fine, as are Ron and Neville."

"Oh," Ginny paused, eyeing Kingsley. "Good, I was a bit worried it would have to do with them."

Kingsley didn't respond right away, instead taking a sip of his tea. Clearly he was thinking of how to say whatever it was on his mind. Ginny felt rather restless. She didn't like waiting, especially when whatever Kingsley had to say to her was clearly important.

"Did you realize what yesterday was?"

Yesterday? June 6th? She began to shake her head before pausing. There was something about that date that caused a feeling of dread to wash over her. Ginny's eyebrows furrowed as she tried to remember.

"After so much loss, so much death, in our lifetime dates can sometimes become unimportant," Kingsley told her. "Sirius Black-"

The Department of Mysteries. The Veil. Hi graceful arch backwards into death.

"Sirius," Ginny breathed.

How could she have forgotten? Shame burned her and Ginny shrunk in her seat. Good, kind Sirius who had only been trying to help Harry. It had to be almost… six or seven years now. Ginny closed her eyes, hating herself.

"I didn't bring you here to make you feel bad about yourself," Kingsley's deep voice echoed in the empty room. "There were many more deaths after Sirius. It took me a few minutes to remember the date as well."

Kingsley leaned forward, lowering his voice as he continued to speak.

"I bring you here today, Ginny, because something extraordinary happened last night. I wasn't at the Ministry when I got the alert to a large surge of power in the Department of Mysteries. That isn't exactly uncommon but after all the trouble that has been caused down there," his eyebrows rose and Ginny felt the end of her lips turn up in a smile against her will. "I've decided to keep myself notified if anything significant goes on there. It was barely ten minutes later that Arnold Mackleer, Head of the Department of Mysteries, was urgently requesting my presence in the Death Chamber."

The Death Chamber. Ginny felt a shiver crawl up her back, thinking of the place where Sirius was lost. But as Kingsley continued to speak suspicion begin to nib at her. What was going on exactly?

"What I'm about to tell you, Ginny, you cannot tell another soul."

Ginny stared at Kingsley, unsure if she wanted to make such a commitment. Clearly something had happened in the Death Chamber and yesterday was Sirius' death. Now they were in St. Mungo's… There was something connecting it all but Ginny wasn't sure what. And how could she not agree to speak of any possible news of Sirius when she was so close to Harry-

"Ginny?"

She focused on the Minister before nodding.

"Of course," she reluctantly agreed. "I won't tell anyone."

Kingsley nodded to himself before he continued telling his story.

"The surge of magic had been coming from the archway and Arnold had just entered the Death Chamber to see someone _exit_ the Veil."

Time stopped. Surely it must have because this did not make sense and Ginny's head wasn't able to wrap around it.

"You don't mean," Ginny tried to speak and stopped.

It was impossible. He was dead, wasn't he? He was suppose to be dead.

"Sirius?" she croaked his name.

Kingsley nodded.

"Sirius has returned."

Ginny pushed away from the table, standing up and walking away from Kingsley. She put her hands on her head and just stared at the ceiling. Then she turned back to the Minister, a large smile on her face.

"Is he okay? He's not- is he harmed?"

"He seems perfectly fine," Kingsley responded slowly. "If not a little… agitated."

"When can we see him? Harry will be so happy-"

Kingsley held up a large hand at her words.

"Ah, Ginny, remember what I said. No one can know of this."

Ginny's eyes narrowed and she approached the table.

"You just told me Sirius is alive and well and you aren't going to tell his godson? His godson who happens to be one of your top-notch Aurors and helped you rebuild the wizarding world after the Final Battle."

"I do love how you defend Harry," Kingsley said, chuckling a bit before turning grim again. "There is more to the story."

"Isn't there always?"

Ginny sat down in her original seat.

"What's really going on, Kingsley? Why am I here? Why can't Harry see Sirius?"

He lowered his voice once again.

"There's something different about Sirius. There's a lot different about him, to be honest. As for why you're here… well, your name is the only name he remembers."

-*.*.*-

Ginny liked to consider herself brave. After all, she had faced Bellatrix Lestrange during the Final Battle, though her mum had been the one to finish off the horrendous witch. She had helped disrupt Snape and the Deatheaters' rule of Hogwarts her sixth year. She had followed Harry and the other to the Department of Mysteries her fourth year and she had survived Tom.

Now, however, she didn't want to open the door to the hospital room because her fear of what was inside of it was overwhelming. Ginny knew what lay behind the door. Kingsley stood beside her, waiting. But he had warned her of the foul temper in the room, of the yelling and cursing she could not hear.

She didn't feel brave now as she waited outside the door. She didn't want to enter, to be honest. She didn't want to be the only one who knew about Sirius. She didn't want to keep a secret from Harry, not when they had just broken up and were trying to remain friends. She didn't want to be a part of this.

But, she supposed, bravery didn't necessary mean _wanting _to do something you feared. It was just doing it anyway. So Ginny gave Kingsley a tight smile to affirm that she was ready. He placed the tip of his wand on the door, for there was no doorknob to turn to get in. The door cracked open at the wands touch and Ginny pushed it open with her hand. She stepped into the white room, leaving Kingsley outside in the corridor.

Surprisingly, the room was completely silent. It smelt like cigarette smoke, though, and it hung heavy in the air. Ginny's eyes didn't need to scan the room to find him. He was sitting with his back towards her, looking out a window that was shut. In between his pointer and middle finger a cigarette carelessly hung lit, the smoke drifting into the air, forming a cloud around him. Ginny took a deep breath to calm her nerves then wanted to cough, gag.

He turned when he heard her and Ginny froze.

"Sirius?"

It was Sirius Black. There was no doubt about it. Ginny couldn't move from her spot. Because as much as this was Sirius it wasn't. Ginny instantly remembered the Sirius who she had spent time with at Grimmauld Place. His shaggy hair hung to his shoulders, his face gaunt and his teeth yellowing. He had been happy, though, when he wasn't frustrated at being locked in his childhood home. And he had been kind. He had also been over twenty years her senior. This Sirius, though…

Ginny watched as Sirius' eyes looked over her before meeting her gaze. He raised the cigarette to his lips and took a drag.

This Sirius was not who she remembered. He was young, ridiculously young. If Ginny didn't know any better she'd say he was about her age. His face, which before was wrinkled and bony, was now full and healthy. His hair was no longer long and matted, his body no longer dangerously skinny… his eyes were not bitter. They were just angry.

He blew out smoke when he spoke.

"You must be Ginny."

They continued to stare at each other before Sirius dropped the cigarette to the ground. He didn't bother to stomp it out and Ginny felt a flicker of annoyance break way through her shock.

"You do remember me," she noted softly.

His dark eyebrows rose at her words.

"Not as you are," Sirius slowly said. "You were younger."

It was silent after he spoke. Ginny was tempted to look away but couldn't. As different as this Sirius was before her she could see the similarities. The same eyes, same nose. The way his lips formed words as he spoke. Still tall. Where the Sirius she knew had the haunting look of beauty lost, the Sirius before her was strikingly handsome.

"I want to see Dumbledore."

His words surprised Ginny and she blinked.

"What?"

"Albus Dumbledore. I want to see him. I need- I need to explain."

"Explain what?"

Something dark flashed in Sirius' eyes and his hand twitched. Ginny realized he didn't have a wand.

"James and Lily-" he stopped, his voice getting caught in his throat. "I want my wand back. Let me out of here!"

Ginny took a step closer to him and his hand shot up.

"Don't come closer."

"What?"

"I don't know what's going on here," he growled, standing up from his chair. "I don't know who any of you are, I know this is a trick-"

"A trick? How are we tricking you?"

"That man, Kingsley, he's been filling my head with lies. I won't fall for it. And whatever _you're _doing here, I don't care. I don't know why you're in my head but I won't tell you anything, none of you."

Ginny wanted to say something to calm him but couldn't find the words. Something was so very wrong here; something that Kingsley seemed unable to properly tell her. Before she had entered the hospital room, Kingsley had warned Ginny that Sirius' memory seemed faulty. He didn't seem to recall any recent events; and by recent, any events from before Azkaban. However… Sirius did remember Ginny.

But Sirius clearly didn't realize that Kingsley and Ginny were friends of his, not enemies. He looked momentarily panicked. And he had no wand. Did he think they took him prisoner? But why would he think that?

"Sirius," Ginny wanted to touch him, calm him. "Sirius, it's okay."

"Piss off," Sirius snapped, falling back into his seat.

He looked helpless as he put his head in his hands.

And Ginny felt like a fish out of water, just gaping at him. Sirius seemed uninterested in her and she took a step back. She needed to see Kingsley, she needed answers.

"I killed them," she thought she heard him moan before she pulled open the hospital door and stepped into the corridor.

Kingsley was standing there, arms crossed. As their eyes met, he sighed.

"Now you see the issue."

"What was that?" Ginny asked, her voice high. "Why doesn't he remember anything? James and Lily- he means James and Lily Potter?"

"Harry's parents, yes," Kingsley agreed. "That's why I can't have Harry knowing he's here. Not till we get his memory sorted out. Somehow the veil has transformed him."

"More like took the Sirius from twenty years ago and brought him here, lack of memory and all."

"Exactly. Come, let's go back to the tearoom."

They walked next to each other as they went back to the empty tearoom. Ginny knew for a fact that normally the room was bustling with people who had family and friends at St. Mungo's. Somehow Kingsley had made sure the whole floor stayed empty while Sirius stayed in the locked room.

As soon as they entered the tearoom neither went to sit down. Instead they stood opposite each other as Kingsley began to express his thoughts.

"I believe, along with Arnold Mackleer, that somehow the veil changed him both body and mind. His memory has clearly been altered. I'm not sure whether he believes us to be Ministry or Deatheaters… but he believes he is being held against his will."

Ginny snorted.

"He _is_ being held against his will."

"For his own protection," Kingsley pointed out sharply, though his words weren't unkind. "We need to keep an eye on him. We can only hope his memory will return so he can be released out into the public. If not, it will be quite a culture shock to send him out into the real world when the last thing he remembers is the early 80's."

They were both silent before speaking at the same time.

"What are you going to do with him?"

"Now, perhaps, you see why I wanted you here."

Ginny brushed a curl from her face.

"No," Ginny sighed. "I don't…"

She trailed off and tilted her head in thought.

"Why does he remember me? He knew who I was as soon as I walked through that door."

Kingsley lifted his shoulders in a shrug.

"Your guess is as good as ours. But your presence will only help ease him. I'd like you to stay here with him."

Ginny let out a burst of surprised laughter.

"Stay here? At St. Mungo's? With Sirius? Are you mad? You saw what happened when Sirius was locked in a house for a few months so you want to keep him locked in a single room until he regains his memory- which we don't even know for sure is going to happen?"

Ginny took a deep breath before continuing her rant.

"And I have a life! My family would know right away if I wasn't home all the time, I have friends_,_ I have to practice Quidditch, what about _Harry_, he'd know-"

Kingsley reached out and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Ginny," he began softly. "You're right. We can't keep Sirius here. We'll have to plan for somewhere else… But I know you didn't try out for the Holyhead Harpies this year, your father had told me. And I also know that you and Harry have broken up. I need you to help me with this. Sirius needs you. You just pointed out how horrible an idea it would be to keep him locked up here. And there is some link between you and him, a link that needs to be explored in order to help him."

She was being used. Ginny's cheeks burned and she gnawed at her bottom lip.

"Wouldn't this be the perfect time to get away?"

"We broke up months ago," Ginny replied shortly, opting to talk about her breakup than the situation at hand.

"But your family doesn't know, not really."

"How do _you_ know?" she snapped, folding her arms across her chest.

"I tend to have a calming effect on people," Kingsley said, squeezing her shoulder. "Harry might have accidentally mentioned it to me. And anytime there's a breakup it's the perfect time to go on a holiday."

She wanted to shake his hand off her shoulder, to go back to the Burrow. She wished she had tried out for the Holyhead Harpies. She wished she never responded to the letter, that she didn't agree to tell no one of the secret that Sirius was alive. But she couldn't change the past. Ginny sighed before nodding.

"Thank you. I'll figure out the arrangements."


	2. Anger

-*.*.*-

Title: Black Demon

Summary: "Please," he whispered in her ear, mocking her. "Please." And she couldn't help but wonder if this was the first time he's ever said please before, even if he was just making fun of her. Sirius/Ginny

Disclaimer: I only own the plot.

-*.*.*-

There was something terrible about the silence. It allowed him time to think. Fuck, all he did was think now. And wasn't that the worst part of it? He had no one to talk to, no one _sane_ to talk to. But no one believed what he had to say either way.

It wasn't completely silent though. If Sirius listened hard enough he could hear the roaring of waves as they beat against stone. There was a dripping in a cell somewhere near his.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Rats. He would hear the rats at night as he lay on his straw bed, his eyes heavy from exhaustion but unable to close. Because whenever he closed his eyes he saw them. James. Lily. Their eyes wide, dull, unseeing… If he closed his eyes his stomach would feel as if he had swallowed a hot potion that was bubbling, burning, climbing up until he finally spewed out whatever little contents his stomach held. So he tried not to close his eyes, he tried not to sleep.

The lack of noise around him was terrible but not as terrible as when suddenly the whole corridor filled with sound. Screams, muttering, sobbing. It was the worst when they cried out a name unknown to Sirius, so desperately that he almost wished he could get that person to them. But he had his own demons to worry about.

The sudden eruption of noise meant only one thing. The prison guards were coming to check on their detainees, their convicts that were only half-sane. Panic would build in his chest as he felt the cold sweep down the already damp and dark corridor. Sirius could remember his first day there, his throat hoarse from screaming, laughing. When the cold first came he had gone to the cell bars and pressed his face against the grimy metal. He had tried to see what could be so horrible to cause such terror in the inmates that were normally so quiet.

He had been stupid.

And the dementors brought such horrible memories to mind that the first day he had sobbed and yelled and huddled in a corner as if that would protect him from the cold, the slow chill that crept up his body like a vine would; twisting, coiling around its' victim as it suffocated him.

James. Lily. Dead. They're dead and it was all his fault. How could he have been so stupid, he was so stupid, he was so dumb and Peter… Peter was still out there, wasn't he? He was still out there somewhere, plotting, living while James and Lily were _dead_.

But the dementors weren't necessary to make Sirius realize how foolish he had been. He should have seen the signs- how had he not seen the signs? Remus was not the traitor, how could he think that? If only Remus would come visit him, if only Remus would see him for just a moment, he could convince him, he _knew _he could convince him.

Sirius knew Remus was never going to see him though.

If the roles were switched Sirius would have probably come to see Remus in Azkaban only to strangle him, to kill him with his own two hands, because how dare he betray James and Lily. They were all willing to die for James and Lily and yet they lived while James and Lily rotted in the ground-

Sirius screamed, grabbing at his hair and yanking. He wasn't the one who was suppose to be here, he didn't do it, he needed to protect Harry, he needed to get out!

"Harry! _Harry_!" he screamed, running up and grabbing the bars.

Sometimes it felt good to yell, to scream out just like the others. He did this, this was his fault, Remus would never come see him, Harry would never know it was Peter who did this, Sirius was so stupid…

Sliding to the ground, Sirius covered his ears with his hands. Harry's name was ringing in his head as if he were still screaming it, ringing, ringing, ringing.

Harry.

He had to get out. He had to find Peter.

He had to get to Harry.

"Harry?"

His lips were cracked. Dehydration. They hardly fed them, hardy gave them anything to drink. Was he going to die in this place?

"Harry?" he called again.

"No, it's Ginny."

The transition was so smooth it was unnoticeable. Sirius looked up and saw a dark figure by the fireplace, a shadow against the bright light. He squinted his eyes from his seat in the chair.

"Why are you standing in the dark?" he asked, his voice gruff.

She moved into the light, bathed in the bright yellow and orange of the fire. Ginny offered him a sheepish smile.

"I didn't want to disturb you," she offered easily. "You seemed lost in your thoughts."

Sirius smiled back at her, sitting up in his seat. It was still so odd to him that the Weasleys were here in his childhood home. Even more bizarre was that it had become the Order's headquarters. He could only hope his mother dearest was turning in her grave. The thought made him shake his head in amusement.

"Not at all. What did you need?"

Ginny walked closer, twisting her hands in front of her nervously. His eyebrows rose slightly at the action but he made no mention of it.

"I just… The other night- I never had a chance to say thank you."

Her voice was low, heavy, embarrassed. Sirius looked away, remembering how he had found her distressed in the clutches of a nightmare. But for her it was more than a nightmare, Sirius knew that. He often had the same terrors. Her screams still echoed in his ears when he closed his eyes at night. They sounded so like his own…

"No need to thank me," Sirius said softly.

His words offered her no comfort. Ginny took another step closer to him. Now, instead of twisting her hands, she was picking at the frayed bottom of her pink cardigan. It reminded Sirius of just how young she was.

"Sirius?"

The way she said his name now sounded so different from how she use to say it. There was a connection between them now, a familiarity that she had with no one else. They were both victims of the darkness, both barely keeping their heads above water. But, my, they were perfect actors in the daylight weren't they?

"Yes?"

"You told me that you understood, that I wasn't alone, that you were here for me," she said it all in a rush.

He studied her as her cheeks flushed and her teeth gnawed at her bottom lip.

"I want you to know… I'm here for you too," Ginny whispered. "You're not alone. I understand."

They held each other's eyes for a moment before Ginny took a step back then another. Sirius wanted to say something but he didn't know what. Her words, even if they were his own, brought a strange warmth to him that seemed to settle over his heart. He fought the urge to grab her and hug her, this little girl who knew too much. The only person who understood.

"Hey!" Sirius called out.

Her figure, half engulfed in shadows, paused. She looked back at him, her eyes wide and reflective in the fire.

"Thank you," Sirius said, leaning forward in the chair. "Thank you, Ginny."

He felt someone tapping his arm and turned, opening his eyes and blinking away the sleep. A blurry figure sat beside his bed and Sirius cringed at the bright lights of the room.

"Fuck," he groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes to block it out.

"Sirius."

He recognized the voice. Kingsley Shacklebolt. The supposed Minister of Magic.

"We're getting you out of here."

At his words, Sirius took his arm off his eyes. The man was staring at him warily.

It had all seemed a dream, the past couple days. Kingsley had told him he was experiencing some sort of memory loss, that it was years past the last thing he remembered, that he was simply being held until his memory came back.

As insane as it had initially sounded Sirius now believed it could be true. Every day wizards came in to check on him, a spark of friendliness in their eyes that had no reason to be there. They were kind, conversational, happy to see him… And every night he seemed to live these experiences, more than a dream but less than a memory. It had, at first, been as though he was recalling arriving at Godric Hollow. He could still remember the hoarse screams of baby Harry as Hagrid held him. The way Sirius had pleaded for Hagrid to give him Harry, that he'd care for him…

Then it had moved on. Peter, in the streets. The blast. He had gotten away, Sirius had let him get away after he had caused their deaths! And now he seemed to be dreaming of Azkaban. He could still feel the cold of the cell, still feel the dirt on his hands from when he clenched onto the cell bars. If his dreams were to be believed, if Kingsley were to believed, if this wasn't some sort of trick or punishment… then he had been accused of James and Lily's death. Peter had gotten away. He had been sent to Azkaban.

It was just so hard to believe. How could this have happened? Was it true? Could it have really gone so horribly wrong?

And Kingsley offered little explanation as to why he had such a memory loss. An accident, he had claimed. Sirius didn't trust it. The last thing he truly remembered…

_Not James, not James, he couldn't be dead-_

How could he have forgotten so much since then?

It was all still confusing to Sirius. Shaking away his thoughts, Sirius focused on Kingsley as he sat up in the bed.

"You're getting me out of here?" he asked. "I'm being let go?"

"Not quite," Kingsley answered, picking his words carefully. "I'm setting up living quarters for you with a trusted friend until you're better, until we know what to do with you…"

"A trusted friend?" Sirius could trust no one. "Who?"

Kingsley met his gaze.

"Ginny Weasley."

-*.*.*-

It hadn't been easy telling the lie to her parents. It wasn't telling the lie that was hard; after growing up with Fred and George Ginny was quite accomplished at that. The hardest part was watching her mum's face fall when Ginny told her how her relationship with Harry was over. Her mum had had so much hope for the two of them, for them to grow old together, to have little babies.

"Maybe one day," she had promised her. "But not right now. Right now, I need time alone."

And, for whatever reason, her mum had seemed to understand. Molly fretted about the Burrow, making some tea despite the hot weather and offering suggestions on where to go. It had been her father who was more worried over the idea of a holiday by herself.

"You should stay home with us, Gin," he had tiredly told her. "With your family."

"Darling, she needs time," her mum had cut in. "Time to think. Prioritize."

"Molly, I just don't-"

"I trust her," her mum had turned to Ginny then. "I trust you. If you say you need a holiday, go on a holiday and come back refreshed."

Her mum had never been so relaxed about something like that. Perhaps it had been the exhaustion in Ginny's eyes as she told the lie or the way she had almost started crying as she detailed the true breakup. Hell, she did need a holiday. Just not one where she was locked up with Sirius Black.

So she had packed her bags. Promised to write. Spoke of going on a holiday to Paris. Kissed her parents goodbye. And now she stood in front of a little house in the middle of nowhere.

The house was plain, two stories with a front porch. Behind the house was a huge field surrounded by trees. In front of the house was a single road that led to the town Kingsley had told her about and even more trees. Ginny shouldered the broom she brought and took a cautious step forward. It wasn't as if she was going to be spending the rest of her life in this house. And she knew Sirius, even if he didn't know himself. She knew him, they were friends, they had lived together in the same house-

"Ginny! You're here!" The voice sliced through her thoughts like a knife.

Ginny allowed a smile to grace her face when she saw Kingsley at the front door. They had been in contact frequently during the last week, planning this time with Sirius. He had found a house with no likely chance of disturbances, had magically secured the area so Sirius could not leave without Ginny, had filled the house with everything they might need…

"Sorry if I'm late," she said as she walked up the porch stairs.

"You're fine," he told her, his deep voice vibrating with a laugh. "Planning to fly away on that?"

"Tempting," Ginny muttered as Kingsley took her broom and put it on a porch swing by the front door.

"Come in, I don't have long to linger."

Kingsley ushered her inside, closing the door softly behind him as Ginny got her bearings. The aroma of dust bunnies was overwhelming and her nose scrunched on impulse. Placing her bags down, Ginny took a look at the rooms before her. The living room was to her right, spacious but small. An unlit fireplace was built into the far wall with a long, worn couch facing it. A bookshelf was beside one of the two windows and a chessboard by the other. Across the living room, to her left, was a large threshold that led to a small kitchen. In front of her was a staircase that would surely lead to two bedrooms and a bath.

"Sirius is upstairs," Kingsley explained when he noticed her gaze went over the downstairs again. "Ginny, if you need anything, let me know. There's Floo powder, owls will be coming by frequently and if something happens the town is not far."

Ginny turned to the older man, frowning.

"Kingsley, Sirius isn't going to murder me. I'm here to help him."

Kingsley took a deep breath at her words and released it slowly.

"Of course, of course," he patted her shoulder affectionately. "He hasn't spoken of the dreams he's been having. But he seems more open to what we've been trying to tell him about his memory loss. Sirius doesn't know much about his life; we'd like him to remember on his own. We just don't know if any damage will be done by trying to force the memories onto him. Try to let him sleep through the night without waking him. I've been told his dreams can make him rather… loud. Just ignore it if you can. It will be for the best."

"Okay," Ginny said with a nod.

Kingsley smiled again, squeezed her shoulder and began his goodbyes. He was only there for a minute longer before he left through the same door she had entered. The click of the door sliding into place seemed to ring in the quiet house. Sighing, Ginny picked up her bags and headed towards the staircase. The staircase was wooden and, as suspected, led to a second floor with what had to be two doors to two bedrooms and one to the bathroom. All the doors were shut.

Taking a guess, Ginny went to the first door on the left. A bathroom. She raised an eyebrow at the tiny room before going to the second door on the left. With a grunt, she pushed it open with her shoulder. And was hit with the smell of cigarettes right away.

Her eyes darted about the room. It was mostly bare other than a desk, bed and dresser. The walls were colored with a maroon wallpaper that was peeling in random spots. It reminded her briefly of home and she felt a tug at her heart. But that was before she spotted Sirius, a lit cigarette in between his pointer and middle finger, staring out one of the windows in his bedroom. He turned at the sound of her entry, his gaze sharp as he studied her.

Ginny opened her mouth then closed it. What was she suppose to say? Shifting the bags in her arms, Ginny opened her mouth to try to speak again. The window he stood by was open and the brown curtains shifted in the breeze, almost engulfing him, as he tilted his head.

"Like my new jail cell?" Sirius asked her, interrupting whatever thought she had been thinking.

With a smirk, he lifted the cigarette to his lips and inhaled. Then he waved his free hand at the room, his eyes moving around it quickly, observing the same dull qualities of it that she had noticed just a moment ago.

"Quaint, isn't it?"

The smoke slowly drifted out of his mouth when he spoke. Ginny watched, memorized. Sirius looked so extremely handsome that she was tempted to divert her gaze. His face was smooth, his eyes dark and gray, his midnight black hair curling at the nape of his neck.

It reminded her of another dark haired man who haunted her dreams and she frowned, leaning against the doorway.

"_Our_ new jail cell," she corrected sharply.

His eyebrows perked at her words and a harsh smile made an appearance.

"Your bedroom is across the hall," Sirius offered, pointing behind her.

A slight flush burned Ginny's cheeks and she turned around, going directly across the hall to the other door. With another grunt, she pushed the door open. The bedroom was plain, just like Sirius'. Where his walls were maroon, however, hers were wooden. There was a bed against one wall, a desk by the window and a dresser on the opposite wall. Tossing her bags next to the bed, Ginny copied Sirius' movements and went to the window.

Unlocking it, she attempted to push it open. Age and lack of use seemed to keep the window firmly in place though and it took a good minute or two before it finally lifted, squeaking all the while. She huffed, wiping her hands off on her one of Ron's old Chudley Cannon shirts he use to wear at Hogwarts. With the window finally open, Ginny leaned her head out of it to get a better look around. Her window faced the forest but she could see a bit of the backyard, the bright green grass catching her gaze. A soft summer breeze ruffled her curls and, distracted, she patted them down with her free hand. At least there was enough yard that she wouldn't feel completely suffocated by the surrounding forest, Ginny mused.

After examining the outside long enough that her arms began to ache from holding her as she leaned out the window, Ginny leaned back into her bedroom. Opting to leave the window open, hopefully it would allow the room to breathe a bit, she turned to survey the area. Right away her attention was drawn to her open door, which allowed her to see directly into Sirius' room. His dark form still stood by his window, seeming more like a statue than a person.

Determined to not be distracted by him, at least for the time being, Ginny walked over to her bags. She reached inside her smaller bag, automatically grabbing the last item she had hurriedly packed. It was a photo from her fourth year, during her Christmas break. She had found it months ago while looking through old photo albums that her mum had put together. Right away she had thought to give it to Harry, perhaps frame it and make it a sweet present for him for his birthday. But then she had been given this task, this task to deal with a man she hardly knew, and figured it would be best if she kept it with her for the time being.

The first thing she took in was the smiling faces, the bright lights behind the group of people, the Christmas tree in the corner of the room. They had been at Grimmauld Place, relieved that her father was healing from his bite from Nagini. Sirius had been enthused that everyone was with him for the holidays, that everything was okay, and had decorated the house extravagantly, making the dark house seem somewhat beautiful. Ginny could remember how odd she had thought it was that it was her first Christmas not at the Burrow. But her family and friends had surrounded her and it didn't seem so odd after all.

Ron was the first person Ginny always noticed in the picture. He was sitting in a chair, laughing loudly and messing up a much younger Ginny's hair. Ginny sat on the floor beside his seat, her eyes dancing as she continually tried to push Ron away from her. Hermione was by the edge of the photo. She looked amused but would shake her head and step out of the photo randomly, wisps of her bushy brown hair all that could be seen by the edge. And, by the Christmas tree, were Sirius and Harry. They were both sitting on the couch, Sirius' arm thrown around Harry's shoulders.

Harry looked unbelievably happy in that moment, especially since that year he had been an emotional mess. And Sirius looked happy too, the wrinkles in his face and the darkness in his eyes seeming nonexistent as he pulled Harry closer to him and pointed at whoever took the picture.

Her eyes always lingered on Sirius, the Sirius she had known and remembered. Ginny couldn't even say she had known him well, for she hadn't, but she had known him differently than most did. A sigh escaped her as she put the picture face down on the bed.

"What's keeping me here exactly?"

Sirius' voice startled her and she turned around quickly, a hand flying to her chest.

"Merlin, you scared me," she muttered, grabbing the picture and shoving it back into her bag.

His eyes followed her nervous movements.

"Answer the question," Sirius ordered.

Turning her body so he could have her full attention, Ginny offered him a shrug. There were many things making sure Sirius couldn't leave the property without Ginny with him and it all dealt with magic. She knew that he knew that already and felt it would be silly to even try to explain that to him. Deep down, Ginny had a feeling that wasn't really what Sirius was concerned about.

"You could try to leave," she said slowly. "But you wouldn't be able to."

Unabashed, Sirius allowed his eyes to look her up and down. She narrowed her eyes, her cheeks coloring unwilling, as she saw how unimpressed Sirius seemed when their gazes connected again. Ginny wasn't sure if he was unconvinced of her magical ability or disturbed by her lack of being well put together. Perhaps the Chudley Cannons shirt and ripped shorts hadn't been the best outfit choice for their first day together but what did it matter really?

It wasn't her fault that Sirius could make a white shirt and dark pants look on par with an expensive wizard dress robe.

Annoyed at her thoughts, Ginny crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows. This silent standoff seemed to be darkening both Ginny and Sirius' moods. To ease it, she finally spoke.

"I'm trying to help you. You have to trust me."

If anything her words angered him further. His gray eyes blackened and his body grew tense. She waited for his answer, worrying at her bottom lip until… he laughed. The sound was sharp enough that she almost took a step away from him.

"I can't _trust_ you, you work for them!" Sirius cried out, the anger in his voice a harsh contrast to his laughter.

"I don't work for them," Ginny promised. "I'm actually unemployed at the moment."

"You're lying!"

It was as if the hate, the anger, the worry was just racing through him, expanding in him, clouding his senses. Ginny knew that Sirius somehow remembered her, she knew that he did not feel negatively towards her even if he wanted to, she just _knew_. But she wasn't sure how to deal with his wrath. She could easily deal with Harry, Ron, Hermione or any member of her family. Sirius, however, was a different story.

"I'm not lying, Sirius. I had wanted to be a Chaser for the Holyhead Harpies but… my nerves got the best of me and it didn't happen. Last year I had tried out and failed. This year I couldn't even get the courage to go back to tryouts. Which is why I'm stuck here with you right now. I'm stuck here too."

Ginny tried to keep her voice low, calm, but it worsened his mood.

"Oh, fuck off," Sirius snarled. "You want me to trust you? You want me to be your friend? We'll never be friends, you're as dirty as the rest of them, you're not my cellmate you're the bloody prison guard. And they left me with a little girl, of all people-"

"I'm not a little girl," Ginny snapped, pointing a finger at him. "Don't you think for one moment I'll take any of this lip from you, Sirius Black. You're right; we're not friends, you have no reason to trust me. But you don't want me as your enemy, not when I'm the only person in this house with you."

Her words, or perhaps the fury in her voice, stilled him. Placing her hands on her hips, Ginny tossed her head to get some of the hair out of her eyes.

"Next question?" she all but growled.

His lips thinned.

"You're a Weasley," his eyes darted from her red hair, to her freckles, to her clothes.

He suddenly reminded her of Malfoy.

"Good observation," Ginny responded, her dark mood meeting his accusing voice full on.

"The Weasleys haven't had a female born into their family in generations."

"Until I came along."

Sirius leaned against the doorframe, casual despite the heat in his gaze.

"My parents made me learn all the pureblood family trees when I was just a child," he spat.

Ginny rolled her eyes. Of course his parents made him do that.

"Sounds captivating," she muttered dryly.

Pushing off the doorframe, Sirius stepped further into her room. Despite just claiming the room, she felt as if he were coming into her territory without her permission. She could feel the annoyance tingling below the surface of her skin.

"Ginny Weasley doesn't exist," Sirius said.

He walked by her and she spun, keeping their eye contact.

"Clearly I do," she crossed her arms again.

"You weren't at Hogwarts when I was, you weren't in the Order, you don't _exist_!"

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.

"Who are you?" he finally shouted, slamming a fist down on the empty desk.

The force of his hit rattled the desk and Ginny lost it.

"What do you want me to say?" Ginny shouted, throwing her hands in the air. "Do you want me to say that I'm a Deatheater in disguise? That we're tricking you in some horrible way- that living with me is the ultimate torture that Voldemort and his fools could come up with for you? Look. Do you see the Dark Mark?"

Ginny shoved up her sleeves, showing the pale skin of her arms.

"We're not the enemy. I'm not a Deatheater. And I know you know that. So stop being a git and leave me be!"

He didn't leave her be though. Instead Sirius just screamed, kicking the desk before grabbing it and throwing it across the room. It shattered against the far wall. Ginny jumped at the sound of it, resisting the urge to grab her wand for protection. She didn't need protection though and she didn't want him to feel threatened.

She remained in her spot as Sirius exhausted himself by grabbing at the wardrobe and shoving it over. He screamed again and the pain sounded so raw that Ginny flinched. She didn't even know half of what he was going through. How could she?

Her anger drained from her at the realization just as his seemed to drain out of him. Bracing himself with two hands pressed against the wall, Sirius let his head hang. The silence was deafening as Ginny's instinct, to approach him, and her mind's wisdom, to leave him be, waged a war. It didn't matter, however, for Sirius abruptly stepped away from the wall. He ran his hand through his hair again and strode by her, not meeting her questioning stare as he left her bedroom.

-*.*.*-

It had been easy enough to fix the desk, a simple repair spell. The wardrobe wasn't damaged so Ginny just pushed it back into place, annoyance once again biting at her that she was cleaning up Sirius' mess. But he was going through so much, she reasoned to herself as she pulled the desk to its original spot, that she would give him a bit of leeway. But that little temper tantrum was all the pity Sirius would receive from Ginny.

She was not his babysitter or his mother or his maid. Ginny was here to help him, though perhaps cleaning up his messes was the best help she could give him. Her cheeks flushed at the thought. Kingsley would never hear the end of it if Ginny ended up having to clean the entirety of this holiday.

After fixing the furniture in her room, Ginny set to unpacking her bag. She didn't pay mind to Sirius as he stormed out of his bedroom while she folded her clothes into the drawers and she didn't allow her eyes to linger on him too long as he sat out in the backyard while she put her quills and parchment on the desk. The picture she kept in one of the cabinets of the desk. After her room was set she went out onto the front porch and grabbed her broom, bringing that back up to her room and propping it in one of the corners.

By the time she was done the sun was beginning to set. Ginny idly wondered where the time had gone. Shutting the window enough so that there was only a crack open, Ginny spied Sirius' shadowy form leaving his spot in the field and heading back to the house. She grabbed a fresh pair of shorts and another baggy shirt, along with some clean panties, and decided to take a shower. Hopefully the noise of the water would help distract her.

Ginny had never been to as quiet a place as this house was, except perhaps the library at Hogwarts before exams. She had grown up around six noisy boys and did not associate a house with silence. It disturbed her. But as Sirius was now silent and antisocial, Ginny would have to amuse herself.

Shutting her bedroom door behind her, Ginny headed towards the bathroom.

"You're not the enemy."

Ginny looked towards Sirius' room and could barely see him sitting on his bed. But he was there. Shadows were already filling his room as the sun took its' last breath. And Sirius gladly became one with the darkness. He was rather stealth when he wanted to be, Ginny mused, and it was something she had never noticed before. The Sirius she knew was loud, in his movements and his words. This Sirius could leave or enter the house and she would know none the better. Distracted by her thoughts, Ginny squinted her eyes, trying to see him better.

"What?"

She saw him move but he didn't stand from his bed. The lights in the hallway began to flicker on as the sun finally took all its light from the house, disappearing behind the trees of the forest.

"You're not the enemy," Sirius admitted, exhausted. "But you're not my friend either."

Ginny sighed and opened the door to the bathroom, unsure of what the lost boy wanted her to say. She shut the door, feeling guilty and not knowing why.

-*.*.*-

That night sleep had come to Ginny easily. She had written to her mum, letting her know she had arrived perfectly safe on holiday, and kept the letter on the side of the desk for whenever an owl showed up. After preparing a quick meal in the kitchen, Ginny had headed back to her room. There she had sat by the window, watching the trees sway in the wind, almost tempted to fly on her broom for a bit. Instead she remembered Kingsley's words about Sirius' sleeping habits and cast a silencing charm on her room. She then moved to her bed and reopened the novel that Hermione had given her.

The words helped her fall asleep faster than she realized.

Cigarette smoke is what woke Ginny up in the morning. The smell was horrid and her nose scrunched instantly when she realized what she was smelling. Rubbing at her eyes, it took Ginny a few seconds to realize where she was. Definitely not the Burrow, certainly not Harry's apartment…

Home sweet home, Ginny thought as she groaned, rolling onto her back and stretching her legs. She kicked the blanket off of her but remained in bed. To be honest, she dreaded officially getting up. Sirius surely must be up already if she could already smell the smoke and that meant another day of unknown interactions with him. Would they still be fighting? Were they not going to speak the whole day? Or perhaps the most important question was the one Ginny didn't even want to ask herself.

Sitting up, Ginny peered out her door and saw that Sirius' was open by a crack. Had he eaten already? Was she suppose to cook for him? Were they going to be civil today?

Sighing, Ginny threw her legs over the side of the bed. She was sure she looked a mess, her curls were usually as bushy as Hermione's when she first woke up, but she felt the unexplainable desire to see how Sirius was doing right away. Even though they hadn't spoken the rest of the night, even though he had confirmed he didn't view her as a friend, she had a weird feeling that she wanted to stomp out. So, after attempting to run a hand through her hair and failing, Ginny got out of bed and walked across the hallway.

It was so automatic for her to walk into any room in the Burrow without knocking that Ginny didn't even think before she pushed Sirius' door the rest of the way open. She didn't realize her fault till her eyes found him, laying on the bed without a shirt on. Her face flushed, from embarrassment surely, and she diverted her eyes.

"Yes?" Sirius drawled softly.

"Just checking to make sure you were still alive," Ginny responded quickly, taking a step backwards to leave.

"Never seen a shirtless boy before? How old are you again?"

Ginny stopped, not having exited the room completely, and met his stare angrily.

"Ah, you're still a bucket full of sunshine, aren't you?" she snapped, stepping further into the room.

His lips twitched.

"Is there any particular reason you barged in here?"

Ginny wanted to say something clever but couldn't. She studied the man in front of her, skimming over his well-defined chest, and settling on his face. There were dark bags under his eyes and his eyes were bloodshot. Even though he was laying on a bed, she could see the tiredness of his body. Ginny had come to make sure he made it through the night, that he was still indeed alive, just as she had told him. She had had a feeling that the night's sleep wasn't easy for him.

She suddenly regretted putting the silencing charm on her room. What if he had called out for her and she hadn't heard him? Kingsley had warned her the nights were hard for Sirius and instead of being willing to help him she had silenced him. Shame coursed through her.

"Do you want breakfast?"

It was the best peace offering she could give. Smoke drifted from Sirius' lit cigarette and it stung her eyes as she waited for his answer.

"Ate already," he finally told her.

Ginny frowned but nodded and left the room. She headed straight to the kitchen, wanting to do something with her hands as she thought. As she entered the small room she noticed a single plate with two pieces of burnt toast on it. One piece had a single bite out of it but otherwise they were fully intact. Shaking her head, Ginny opened the cabinets to see what she wanted to eat. But she could hardly focus.

So he wouldn't take her peace offering? He'd rather have a bit of burnt bread than eat something she made? Did he try to be offensive or was it simply in his nature?

Shutting the cabinet, Ginny walked over to the refrigerator. But no matter how long she looked at the contents she found she didn't want to eat any of it. Instead she walked back up the stairs, keeping her eyes purposely away from Sirius' open door, and reentered her bedroom. Changing out of her pajamas quickly, she put on a pair of shorts and another random shirt. Then she found her dirty sneakers, which she used whenever she played Quidditch or went for a run.

After getting completely ready, Ginny left her bedroom and headed straight downstairs. She didn't care what Sirius was doing, probably just smoking more, so she didn't bother to tell him her plans. Pushing open the front door, Ginny took a deep breath of the summer air. It was a warm day, surely to get warmer by the time noon came around, but with the wind it was perfect to run in. Using the tie around her wrist, Ginny pulled her hair back and took a moment to stretch.

Then she set off in a light jog around the border of the forest.

Jogging always helped clear her mind. When she had been training to try out for the Holyhead Harpies she had taken up jogging as a way of stretching. During Hogwarts she had been naturally fit but as she got older and started going to the pubs more with Harry and Ron she had realized she needed to work a bit more at staying in shape. She hadn't really seen any other benefit than that until she had gotten in a fight with Percy over something stupid. Running had helped her calm down.

Now more than ever Ginny felt the need to run. After making it halfway along the border, Ginny sped up, jumping over a fallen branch. She felt the beginning of a slow burn in her legs. Her heart race was increasing, her cheeks flushing from the heat of the day. A smile made its way to her mouth despite herself and she made an abrupt decision to turn into the forest instead of heading back towards the house.

The forest floor was covered in old leafs and branches but Ginny easily sidestepped them as she dodged the large trees around her. She could hear birds chirping above her, some of them taking off when she got too close to a tree they were on. One of her feet landed in a small puddle and the water splashed onto the back of her bare leg but she continued on, where to she didn't know.

It wasn't until she couldn't catch her breath that Ginny stopped, putting her hand against a tree next to her and leaning. Wiping her forehead with the back of her hand, Ginny glanced around. There was a small pond in front of her and it looked so delightful that she pulled off her shoes and socks to put her feet in. The water was blissfully chilly.

She sighed, closing her eyes and throwing her head back. Sirius would like this place, maybe. Maybe she'd bring him back here when he was ready.

Ginny opened her eyes, sighing through her nose. What was she even doing here? Why did she allow herself to get talked into this? Sirius didn't want her here, even if she was the only person he remembered. He was so caught up with his demons, though she couldn't blame him, that anyone near him received his wrath.

Pulling her socks and shoes back on, Ginny headed back towards where she came from. The walk took longer than the run but it was still nice. The tree tops kept shade on her and it seemed like no time before the house came into view. A quiet rumbling in her stomach reminded her of her missed breakfast and Ginny frowned. She briefly wondered what Sirius was doing before entering the house.

-*.*.*-

Somehow the pair managed to dodge each other the rest of the day. Ginny had a feeling, though, that it was more Sirius' effort than anything. After another shower, she had changed in her room. The slamming of the front door was her only notice that he was leaving the house. Ginny rushed to the window, leaning out of it to get a view of the backyard. She soon saw his figure as it walked into the center of the field and seemed to collapse.

As if he just gave up.

Ginny gnawed on her lip as she watched him. She knew he couldn't go past the border of the trees like she could but it still felt weird to leave him out there by herself. It was the arrival of an owl that stopped her from thinking on it further. Excided, she mailed out the letter to her mum. Then, as if it were any other day, Ginny went downstairs and began to cook. By the time she was finished Sirius had already came back inside, a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. She had tried to catch his eyes but he ignored her, heading straight back to his room.

After eating she had sat in the living room, positively bored. Ginny tried reading the novel Hermione gave her and made it a good few chapters before tossing it on the table. She looked at other books on the bookshelf but found nothing of interest. Her eyes lingered on the wizards chessboard but felt pathetic even thinking about playing by herself. A frown fought its way to her lips and she realized, dully, that she missed her family.

She hated being alone. Even if, technically, she wasn't.

The rest of the day went by just as slowly. Ginny was almost thankful for the sunset. She sat on the front porch and stared at the stars, so bright out in the country. It was a beautiful summer night. She wondered if Sirius was looking at the stars too.

Sighing, she left the porch when the summer air became a bit chilly and went to her room. Sirius' door was shut and she went to her room, throwing herself on the bed and resisting the urge to scream. She'd die of this boredom if it continued like this.

The last thing Ginny remembered before falling asleep was her promise to herself to talk to Sirius in the morning.

It was a whimper that woke her up. Eyes snapping open, Ginny stared confused at the ceiling of her bedroom. She had fallen asleep in the clothes she wore all day, she realized with a grimace. Rubbing at her eyes, Ginny flipped off her back and onto her side. Her bedroom door was open, she must have forgotten to shut it, and she could see despite the dark that Sirius' was open a crack.

Ginny was just turning to get comfortable in bed when she heard it again. A whimper. She had thought it had been a part of her dream but… no, no, it wasn't. She stilled, holding her breath. Obviously it was Sirius. Kingsley had warned her of this. And Ginny had decided not to cast the silencing spell, just in case he needed her. After how the day went, though, Ginny was sure Sirius wouldn't want her entering his bedroom, especially while he was sleeping.

What was she suppose to do-

A strangled gasp halted any indecision Ginny had and she got out of bed. With little hesitation, she made her way out of her room and into the hallway. She stood outside his door and it was only quiet for a second before she heard Sirius thrashing in his bed. Slowly, quietly, Ginny pushed open his door. The room was bathed in darkness except for a single lit candle beside his bed that he must have forgotten to blow out before sleep consumed him. In the bed Sirius lay tangled in his sheets, his chest bare but rapidly rising and falling with his breathing.

Now that she was in his bedroom she didn't know what to do. Did she wake him? Did she hold his hand, try to comfort him? It was clear he was having a nightmare; his eyes were moving rapidly behind his eyelids. Ginny fidgeted, feeling she had made the wrong choice by entering his room.

Had he felt this way when he found her caught in her own nightmare years ago? The sudden memory came unexpectedly as she stood cautiously by his door. Sirius had helped her once…

"_Not James-_" Sirius gasped suddenly, his body twitching as if he hit by a spell.

Ginny was surprised by how quickly she moved then, falling to her knees beside his bed. His fingers were twitching in his sleep, reaching for something, and Ginny grabbed onto them. The candlelit flickered, casting shadows on his face. When the next jump of his body came, the next whimper, she hesitantly used her free hand to stroke the back of the hand she held. It didn't seem to calm him but it calmed her, helped her feel as if she was making a difference.

His lips moved silently and Ginny watched, hating that he was experiencing this. He looked so young in his sleep, as if he could be a Hogwarts student. She wondered what he was dreaming of. James Potter? Harry's dad. His best friend.

Frowning, Ginny tightened her grip on his hand. It wasn't fair, was it?

She stayed like that for hours, crouched on the floor beside his bed, offering him comfort the only way she could. It wasn't long before the candle went out, before the room was bathed in darkness, before her eyes began to shut in exhaustion.

-*.*.*-

When she woke up it was with a grunt. Ginny's whole body ached from the awkward position she had been crouched in by Sirius' bed; her one arm was in place as if his hand was still in her own. But it wasn't. When Ginny finally was able to move, after much stretching of her legs, she saw that Sirius was no longer in bed. Wincing, Ginny stood up.

The sun was already shining outside. Wondering what time it was, and why it mattered since she had nothing to do anyway, Ginny took a glance around the room before walking into the hallway. Rubbing a hand over her face, she shut his door behind her with her free hand.

"Hell," Ginny groaned.

She was resolved never to sleep on the floor again-

Ginny looked up and saw Sirius before her, his hair damp from a shower and his cheeks flushed from the heat of the warm water. She froze, goose bumps rising on her skin as his eyes went from her to his bedroom door. What had he thought, exactly, when he woke up to her sleeping on the floor beside him? Curiosity got the better of her and she waited for him to speak, the silence stretching between them long enough to be considered awkward.

He remained mute, still, like a statue.

She oddly felt like she failed a test.

"Sirius," she finally said, clearing her throat and stepping out of his way.

She walked to her bedroom, hand reaching out to grab onto her bedroom door. Biting her lip, Ginny glanced over her shoulder. Sirius had hardly moved; he may have taken a step forward. He had a hand pressed against his bedroom door but his head hung, his hair blocking his face from her view. Ginny faltered. If she was lonely, he had to be lonely. If he was having nightmares, memories, he had to be confused. If he was slowly regaining memory of a life he didn't know he lived… it was almost like when she was possessed. Waking up with no memory of how you got there. Having no one to confide in. Being afraid and so unsure and _alone_-

"Sirius?"

Sirius looked up, dark bags under his eyes, his skin pale. Merlin, it reminded Ginny so much of herself during her first year that her breath left her. She stepped towards him. He watched, wary as always.

"I-"

"Why were you in my room?" he asked, voice hoarse.

The question wasn't an accusation. He wasn't angry or upset. Sirius was just tired.

"You were having a nightmare," Ginny answered, her voice sounding abnormally loud in the quiet hallway.

He nodded.

"I was trying to help you," Ginny continued, feeling it was necessary he understood. "Please, Sirius, I _am_ trying to help you."

There was no response from him except a small nod of his head before he opened his bedroom door and stepped in. She watched, helpless, as he closed the door behind him.

And Ginny hated feeling helpless.

-*.*.*-

It was almost afternoon and a storm seemed to be brewing in the distance. Ginny sat on the porch swing, her legs curled underneath her, watching as the clouds darkened and expanded. The air even smelled of summer rain, a crisp, damp smell that she hadn't smelled for nearly a year. She should probably go shut all the windows, she reasoned, and began to lower her legs from the seat when she heard footsteps in the house.

Turning her head to hear better, she could hear Sirius walking down the stairs. Then he seemed to enter the kitchen, his footsteps light. Silence came soon. With a sigh, Ginny pushed herself out of the seat and entered the house. Cautiously, she strode by the kitchen and peeked in. Sirius was staring out the window, eyeing the same storm that she had been. As always, she wanted to speak but instead opted to continue past, to give him space.

His voice stopped her.

"I need to get out of here," his voice was strangled.

Ginny paused, taking a step back so Sirius was in her view again.

"We can't leave-"

"_Ginny_. I need to get out of here."

He hadn't said her name like that before. It was almost as powerful as a spell and Ginny nodded, an idea blooming.

"Go get some sneakers. Meet me outside."

-*.*.*-

The pounding of their feet on the ground was loud and it seemed to be the only thing Ginny could focus on. She shook her head, keeping her jog slow, for Sirius seemed to be unused to running. She hadn't been lying when she said they couldn't leave. They couldn't go down to the nearby town, they couldn't go visit friends, they couldn't be around other people. Not yet. But they could go for a run. She could take him through the forest, just as she had gone the day before.

Eyeing him from her peripheral vision, she made sure he wasn't about to keel over before nodding towards the forest. They had been following the border of the forest silently, keeping pace with each other, but now was time to show him the small pond she had found before.

Sirius looked at her in surprise. Apparently he must have tried to leave the backyard for he didn't make a move to enter the forest till Ginny cut in front of him, dodging a tree and entering the darkness of the trees. A second later Sirius came barreling through, his eyes wide as they took in the area around him.

"Come on," Ginny shouted.

For once, he responded to her words, a smirk curling on his lips. A strange warmth spread through Ginny at the sight of it and she turned, running deeper into the woods. Behind her, she could hear Sirius follow suit.

They jumped over fallen trees together, swiping branches with green leafs out of their way, keeping their footing on the moist forest floor. Ginny let out a laugh when Sirius dodged a huge spider web. As she laughed she could hear droplets hitting the trees above them. Looking up quickly, she realized the dark clouds had finally arrived. But it was only a moment later, as the water began to dampen her clothes, that they arrived at the pond.

Stopping at the sight of the pond, Sirius sat down on the ground, throwing his legs out in front of him. His breathing was heavy, heavier than hers, but there was still a smile on his lips. Ginny smiled back.

"How is it that we can walk through the forest? I hadn't been able to do this by myself."

Ah, so she had guessed correctly. He had tried to escape.

"When you're with me you can move more freely," Ginny confided, resting her hands on her hips.

Sirius looked up at her, his eyebrows perking.

"Don't get any ideas, Black," she warned jokingly.

He shook his head, amused, and looked away from her. And the transition occurred so quickly Ginny wasn't sure what sparked it. His smile dropped and his eyes darkened. Pushing himself off the ground, Sirius cleared his throat.

"Let's go back," Sirius suggested, though it seemed by his tone she had no choice.

The rain was coming down harder, she could admit that, but while Sirius seemed relaxed a moment ago he now seemed angry. Angry at her? Ginny's eyes narrowed.

"What just happened?" she snapped.

Sirius glanced at her, running a hand through his hair.

"What do you mean?"

"We were having fun, we were fine," Ginny began loudly, angrily wiping the rain water from her face as it fell heavier from the sky. "What is your problem-"

He looked as though she had hit him.

"What- what is my problem?" he choked out, wounded for a brief second by her words. "My problem?"

She shook her head.

"I didn't mean that," she whispered. "I just meant-"

"You just want to know why I'm not happy? Why I feel guilty laughing? Why it's so hard for me to even comprehend what is going on right now? This doesn't even feel real, any of it!"

Ginny stared at him as the rain drenched him, as his emotions got the better of him. His anger was quickly rising.

"This is bloody hell, all of it, and you are the only thing I know is real and even that seems wrong, doesn't it? When I sleep, when I see you, you're so young but before any of that even happens I'm _living_ in a fucking cell with dementors sucking every bit of life out of me and I see _James_ and _Lily_ as if they are ghosts that live among me!"

He sucked in a deep breath and her heart felt oddly sore. She was so stupid, he was grieving for people who died years ago but whose death were still a fresh wound for him. Ginny took a step forward hesitantly.

"Sirius, please, stop," she begged.

Sirius looked up at the sky, shaking his head.

The rain, which seemed to be growing heavier, only helped blur him from her view. Whatever he was thinking was blocked from her. Maybe this had been too much too soon. Ginny knew better than to pick a fight with him. He was an adversary equal to her in wit and anger, Ginny knew that much, yet she couldn't stop herself. Guilt washed over her just as the rain did. Because even now, when he should be the happiest, for he was alive and well, nightmares of his real life plagued him.

His form was rigid, his dark shirt clinging to him. Ginny took a step forward, studying the rapid lift and fall of his body as he regained his composure.

"Please, Sirius-"

Sirius turned so quickly that Ginny slipped in her haste to step back. His hand shot out and grabbed a hold of her arm, not to catch her but to slam her back into a tree. Ginny shouted, her free arm reaching up and attempting to push him away. His skin was cool to the touch and he didn't move when she struggled against him.

Ginny opened her mouth to say something, anything, to get him away from her, to let her go. But no words came to her when she met his eyes. There were a range of emotions boiling in them and she couldn't seem to pinpoint one. Was he sad or hurt or angry or-

Her trail of thoughts died when he leaned his head down towards her. Despite herself, Ginny felt a familiar warmth begin to pool in her stomach. It had been so long since she had been this close to someone, someone who was very much male and handsome and…

His lips brushed her ear and Ginny's eyes fluttered shut against her better judgment.

"Please," he whispered in her ear, mocking her. "Please."

And she couldn't help but wonder if this was the first time he'd ever said please before, even if he was just making fun of her.

Sirius took a step back from her then, releasing the hold he had on her. Ginny's eyes opened and Sirius scowled down at her.

"Pathetic-"

Just as quickly as he had grabbed her arm, Ginny reached out and grabbed a fistful of his damp shirt. She tugged him towards her and, perhaps it was the surprise that slowed his reflexes, he stumbled into her. Ginny didn't let him think, or herself think, before she stood on her toes and kissed him. While their skin was cold and wet, their hair dripping water and the branches above them hardly sheltering them from the weather, Ginny felt heat.

The heat was their lips as he regained his senses and, instead of pushing her away, pulled her closer to him. The heat was their bodies as he pushed her back up against the tree, though this time it wasn't in the urgency of anger but instead something else. The heat was the gasp that left Ginny's lips as Sirius decided to pay attention to her neck instead of her lips, where he bit her and it didn't hurt- no, this was not pain Ginny was feeling. The heat was her fingers as she tried to pull him closer, closer.

She hadn't wanted someone this badly in a long time. It was terrifying and exciting because even if she had taken the time to realize she was snogging Sirius Black she wouldn't have stopped. But those thoughts did not enter her mind as instinct took over. Ginny could feel Sirius against her, all of him, and in blind lust she was already reaching to undo his pants. Because she wanted him, she wanted this, she wanted, she wanted, and it was so right.

With quick fingers, Sirius was tugging at her shirt.

"Off," he growled and Ginny shivered as his voice, filled with something other than anger or sadness, undid her.

It was skin and kissing and right, oh this felt right, even if it was so wrong-

A crack of lightening jolted Ginny from her lust filled state. And it seemed as if it had done the same for Sirius. His hands, which had been under her shirt, stilled. He held in her place, however, breathing against her wet skin as they both regained their senses.

Finally he put her down and turned around, giving her time to fix herself. Her back ached from the bark of the tree and Ginny was sure her t-shirt was ripped. The cold from the rain, however, was making her numb. Or perhaps it was something else. Ginny straightened her clothes as best she could before clearing her throat.

"Sirius," she called.

He turned and their gazes met. He wasn't embarrassed, no. If anything Ginny could still see something lingering in his eyes as he stared at her.

"Let's go back," Sirius suggested again, though this time his voice was almost gentle.

Nodding, the pair made their way away from the pond back to the house as the rain showered down around them.


End file.
